I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
