Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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