there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
