Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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