i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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