Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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