Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
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I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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