Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
