Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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