so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
