If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
