I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
