my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
