Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
