this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
