so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
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