Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm at about main and main street
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
