this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
