whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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