I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
