he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
