You made me cry and you don't even care
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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