This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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