This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
