Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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