I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
