as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
