I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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