people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
