haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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