ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
