Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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