I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
