i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
