Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I love you. Go after that dick
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
