if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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