I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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