are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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