Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
