quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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