I'm really into asian looking animals
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize