Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
