I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
