Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
