Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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