just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
