Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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