capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
