You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
