my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize