Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
