Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup

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(636): View more from Missouri

I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.

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(831): View more from California

My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover

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(812): View more from Indiana

They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots

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(931): View more from Tennessee

He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob

(1-931): View more from Tennessee

Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic

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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy

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