It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
