it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
