I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
