bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
