How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
